I am a young man and I did the marriage contract with my cousin (the daughter of my maternal aunt), but I do not love her, I love her sister. But I was forced into that because her brother would not marry my sister unless I married the one whom I do not love. The girl knows that I cannot stand her, but her family insisted that she marry me. Now I do not know what I should do.<\/p>","answer":"
Allaah has honoured man with reason and He has given him free will to choose that to which his religion, reason and character make him inclined, so that he may rise above the promptings of whims and desires and of the shaytaan. So the one who has been honoured in this way should not be heedless and respond to the desires of those who are around him and their hateful customs. <\/p>\r\n
In the Sunnah there is a prohibition on the kind of marriage that you have entered into, which is called nikaah al-shighaar (quid pro quo marriage). <\/p>\r\n
It was narrated from Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade shighaar. Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5112) and Muslim (1415). <\/p>\r\n
A shighaar (quid pro quo) marriage is when it is stipulated that each man will marry the daughter, sister or ward of the other, whether there is any mahr or not. <\/p>\r\n
It says in al-Mudawwanah<\/em> (2\/98): <\/p>\r\n What do you think if someone says “Marry your daughter to me for one hundred dinars on the basis that I will marry my daughter to you for one hundred dinars”? Malik disliked that and regarded it as a kind of shighaar. <\/p>\r\n This is also indicated by the report narrated by Abu Dawood (2075) and others from ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn Hormuz, that al-‘Abbaas ibn ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Abbaas gave his daughter in marriage to ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn al-Hakam, and ‘Abd al-Rahmaan gave his daughter in marriage to him, and they both gave dowries. Mu’aawiyah ibn Abi Sufyaan wrote to Marwaan ibn al-Hakam telling him to separate them, and he said in his letter: This is shighaar which was forbidden by the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). <\/p>\r\n Some of the scholars regarded shighaar as an invalid marriage which cannot be gone ahead with. <\/p>\r\n It says in Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah<\/em> (18\/427): <\/p>\r\n If a man gives his ward in marriage to a man on the basis that the other will give his ward to him in marriage, this is the shighaar marriage which was forbidden by the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). This is what some people call an “exchange” marriage, and it is an invalid marriage, whether a dowry is given or not, and whether there is mutual consent or not. <\/p>\r\n But if one man proposes marriage to the ward of another man, and the other proposes marriage to the ward of the first, without any stipulation, and the marriages are done with the consent of both women and all the other conditions of marriage are met, then there is no dispute concerning that, and in that case it is not a shighaar marriage. End quote. <\/p>\r\n