Dear shaykh, I arranged my son’s marriage last year, and the expenses were huge. I spent a great deal and my husband swore that he would not pay any more costs, but I had not finished buying everything that was needed for the marriage. My husband’s money was with me and I do not have any money of my own. So I had no choice but to take some money from my husband’s money that was with me, without his knowledge, and I could not tell him. But by Allah, all I took I spent on the costs of the marriage. Now I do not know what to do? Am I a sinner?<\/p>","answer":"
Firstly: <\/p>\r\n
The father is obliged to help his son remain chaste by means of marriage, especially if he asks him to do that and he has the need and desire for it, so as to protect him from temptation and to maintain his chastity. <\/p>\r\n
See the answers to questions no. 83191<\/a> and 87983<\/a> <\/p>\r\n Secondly: <\/p>\r\n One should be moderate with regard to marriage expenses and not go beyond the bounds of moderation; the spending should not reach the level of extravagance and wastefulness as is common among people nowadays. <\/p>\r\n The scholars of the Standing Committee said: <\/p>\r\n Your spending half a million riyals on your daughter’s marriage comes under the heading of extravagance that is forbidden and there is the fear that you may incur punishment because of that unless you repent to Allah, may He be exalted, and give up this extravagance, because wealth belongs to Allah, may He be exalted, and people are entrusted with it. Islam has set out guidelines on how to handle this wealth and has forbidden extravagance and wastefulness. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): “And those, who, when they spend, are neither extravagant nor miserly, but hold a medium (way) between those (extremes)” [al-Furqaan 25:67]<\/em>.<\/p>\r\n What is meant is: do not be extravagant by overstepping the limits of generosity and spending on sinful things, and do not be miserly in spending; Rather be in between that, i.e., between extravagance and miserliness; adopt a middle path.<\/p>\r\n End quote from Fataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa’imah<\/em>, 16\/220-221 <\/p>\r\n Thirdly: <\/p>\r\n It is not permissible for a woman to spend her husband’s wealth except with his permission, unless he is stingy towards her and her children and does not fulfil his duty towards Allah by spending on their maintenance as obliged. In that case it is permissible for her to take from his wealth whatever is sufficient for her and her children, on a reasonable basis. <\/p>\r\n