{"fatawa":{"id":9919,"title":"Is it better for her to get married or to dedicate her life to her elderly parents?","slug":"is-it-better-for-her-to-get-married-or-to-dedicate-her-life-to-her-elderly-parents","order":"","question":"<p>Which is better for 21-year-old muslimah, get married or didecate her  life for her parents who are old already, and her two-brothers who are  still young and need her financial support for their education?.<\/p>","answer":"<div class=\"list-group-item-text ftwa-single-answer font-nrmal\"><span class=\"line_height\"> Praise be to Allaah.\r\n<p>There is no doubt that honouring one&rsquo;s parents is one of the      greatest ways of doing good and one of the widest gates of Paradise.&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p>&lsquo;Abdullah ibn Mas&lsquo;ood (may Allah be pleased with him) said: I      asked the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him): O      Messenger of Allah, which deed is best? He said: &ldquo;Prayer offered on time.&rdquo; I      said: Then what? He said: &ldquo;Honouring one&rsquo;s parents.&rdquo; I said: Then what? He      said: &ldquo;Jihad for the sake of Allaah.&rdquo;<\/p>\r\n<p>Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2782; Muslim, 85.&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p>See the answer to question no.     <a href=\"http:\/\/islamqa.info\/en\/145627\">145627<\/a>&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p>Just as honouring one&rsquo;s parents is one of the widest gates of      Paradise and earns the pleasure of Allah, may He be exalted, there is no      doubt that keeping oneself chaste is also one of the most important matters      that a person should be concerned with, especially at a young age when      temptations are numerous and the individual fears for himself.&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p>What appears to be the case, and is indicated by a great deal      of experience, is that there is no conflict between the two matters that are      mentioned here in the question. Indeed it is entirely possible to combine      the two.&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p>Taking care of parents with regard to matters where they need      help, honouring them and upholding ties with them does not require you to      dedicate your entire life to that purpose or that to let the opportunity of      marriage pass you by when you are young. All you have to do is look at the      nature of what your parents need from you. If they need you to serve them      and they cannot do things for themselves and your younger brothers cannot do      that, all that is required of you is to choose a husband who will let you do      that. So instead of accepting a husband who will take you away from your      city, choose a husband from the same city where you live. The closer his      house is to your parents, the better it will be, so that it will be easy for      you to go to them whenever they need that and take care of their affairs.      Choose a husband who is kind and easy-going and will help you in that and      not prevent you from doing it. At the same time you can organise their      affairs in such a way that in many cases it will not be necessary for you to      visit them every day, even if they are old.&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p>Whatever the case, these are details that &ndash; it seems to us &ndash;      can be arranged easily, in sha Allah.&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p>If they need financial help for themselves or for your      brothers, this is only as much as you are able to do. If you are working,      you can give your family some of your salary or wages and you can stipulate      to your husband that he should not prevent you from working or prevent you      from helping your family.&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p>If it so happens that after marriage you are less able to      help them, then perhaps Allah will open another door to provision and      goodness for them that will make up for that.&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p>If they are not able to educate your younger brothers, even      with help from people other than you, then what appears to be the case is      that it is better for you to get married and keep yourself chaste, and to      give that precedence over helping your brothers with their education.&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p>Remember that Allah, may He be exalted, will help a person so      long as he is helping his brother, so how about if you are keen to help your      parents and your brothers. We believe that Allah is not going to deprive you      of His help and guidance, and we think that He will grant you a way out from      every worry and hardship. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p><em>&ldquo;And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He      will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty).<\/em><\/p>\r\n<p><em>3.&nbsp;And He will provide him from (sources) he never could      imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allaah, then He will suffice him.      Verily, Allaah will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allaah has set a measure      for all things&rdquo;<\/em><\/p>\r\n<p><em>[al-Talaaq 65:2-3]<\/em>.&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p>And Allah knows best.<\/p>\r\n<\/span><\/div>\r\n<div style=\"padding: 3px; padding-right: 6px; text-align: right;\">Islam Q&amp;A<\/div>","status":1,"created_at":"2015-03-12T20:51:58.000000Z","updated_at":"2015-03-12T20:51:58.000000Z","language_id":1,"fatawacate_id":39,"parent_id":9918,"author_id":"","books":[],"articles":[],"videos":[],"audios":[],"author_name":"","category_name":"\u0627\u0644\u062e\u0637\u0628\u0629","category_slug":"","get_date":"2015-03-12"},"translations":[],"fatawa_books":[],"fatawa_articles":[],"fatawa_videos":[],"fatawa_audios":[],"url":"http:\/\/www.islamland.com\/eng\/api\/fatawas\/9919"}