{"fatawa":{"id":10297,"title":"Ni\u015fanlanmadan \u00f6nce bir kad\u0131nla konu\u015fmak isteyen kimse","slug":"nisanlanmadan-oence-bir-kadinla-konusmak-isteyen-kimse","order":"","question":"

Ben, \u015fu an \u0130ngiltere'deki üniversitelerin birisinde okuyorum ve üniversitede ho\u015fuma giden bir k\u0131z ö\u011frenci bulunmaktad\u0131r. Daha önce kendisiyle hiç konu\u015fmad\u0131m. Ben, genel olarak kad\u0131nlarla konu\u015fmuyorum. Fakat bazen birbirimizle selâmla\u015f\u0131yoruz. Ben \u0130slâm'a s\u0131k\u0131 s\u0131k\u0131ya ba\u011fl\u0131 oldu\u011fumdan ve kad\u0131nlarla konu\u015fmad\u0131\u011f\u0131mdan dolay\u0131 bu k\u0131zla evlenmek için kendisine bunu nas\u0131l arz edebilirim. Bunun için en güzel yol hangisidir?
Dînî s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131 a\u015fmadan önce gidip onunla konu\u015fay\u0131m ve kendisini tan\u0131maya m\u0131 çal\u0131\u015fay\u0131m? Yoksa kendisini direkt isteyeyim mi?
Ben, önce kendisini tan\u0131madan direkt olarak istedi\u011fim takdirde iste\u011fimi hemen red edece\u011finden korkuyorum. Çünkü o beni tam olarak tan\u0131mamaktad\u0131r.Ayr\u0131ca o, benim ba\u011fl\u0131 bulundu\u011fum kültürden ba\u015fka bir kültüre ba\u011fl\u0131d\u0131r.Buna kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131k ben, onunla tan\u0131\u015fmak kast\u0131yla konu\u015ftu\u011fum takdirde bu davran\u0131\u015f\u0131m\u0131n \u0130slâm'a ayk\u0131r\u0131 olaca\u011f\u0131ndan korkuyorum.
Bu sebeple ben, zor durumday\u0131m. Yapabilece\u011fim en iyi \u015fey nedir?<\/p>","answer":"

\r\n

Hamd, yaln\u0131zca Allah'ad\u0131r.<\/p>\r\nBilmelisin ki -Allah seni hay\u0131rl\u0131 amellerde muvaffak k\u0131ls\u0131n-, bir erke\u011fin yabanc\u0131 bir kad\u0131nla konu\u015fmas\u0131, ancak dînde birtak\u0131m ölçüler ve önemli \u015fartlar\u0131n yerine getirilmesiyle câizdir.Bu \u015fartlar\u0131n hedefi ise, fitne kap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 kapatmak ve günaha dü\u015fmeye engel olmakt\u0131r. Bu \u015fartlardan baz\u0131lar\u0131 \u015funlard\u0131r: 1.  Erkekle kad\u0131n\u0131n ba\u015fba\u015fa kalmamas\u0131. 2.  Dînen mübah görülen konunun d\u0131\u015f\u0131na ç\u0131k\u0131lmamas\u0131. 3.  Fitneden emîn olunmas\u0131. E\u011fer erkek, kad\u0131n\u0131n konu\u015fmas\u0131yla \u015fehveti hareketlenir ve onun konu\u015fmas\u0131ndan lezzet almaya ba\u015flarsa, bu konu\u015fma erke\u011fe haram olur. 4.  Kad\u0131n\u0131n cilveli ve edâl\u0131 konu\u015fmamas\u0131. 5.  Kad\u0131n\u0131n, (erke\u011fin kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na) tam hicab\u0131 ve sayg\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131yla ç\u0131kmas\u0131 veya onunla kap\u0131n\u0131n arkas\u0131ndan veyahut da telefonla konu\u015fmas\u0131. 6.  Erke\u011fin, kad\u0131nla ihtiyaçtan fazla konu\u015fmamas\u0131. Bu \u015fartlar gerçekle\u015fti\u011fi ve fitneden emîn olundu\u011fu takdirde, erke\u011fin yabanc\u0131 bir kad\u0131nla konu\u015fmas\u0131nda herhangi bir sak\u0131nca yoktur.\r\n

De\u011ferli âlim Salih el-Fevzân, gençlerin telefon arac\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131yla k\u0131zlarla konu\u015fmas\u0131n\u0131n hükmü hakk\u0131nda soruldu\u011funda o \u015föyle cevap vermi\u015ftir:<\/p>\r\n

\"Gençlerin, k\u0131zlarla konu\u015fmalar\u0131,bu davran\u0131\u015f\u0131n fitne içermesinden dolay\u0131 câiz de\u011fildir. Fakat k\u0131z, kendisiyle konu\u015fan kimse ile ni\u015fanl\u0131 ise ve bu konu\u015fma, ni\u015fanl\u0131l\u0131k yarar\u0131na ise, k\u0131z\u0131n velisiyle konu\u015fmak daha yerinde ve daha ihtiyatl\u0131 olmakla birlikte, bu konu\u015fma câizdir.\" (\"el-Muntekâ min Fetâvâ Salih el-Fevzân\"; c: 3, s: 163-164)<\/p>\r\n

(Soruyu soran karde\u015fim!) Sen bu kad\u0131nla henüz ni\u015fanlanmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n için bu kad\u0131na yakla\u015fmadan bütün yollar\u0131 deneyerek amac\u0131na ula\u015fabilmek amac\u0131yla fitneye götüren sebeplere dü\u015fmemek için daha çok sak\u0131nman ve daha dikkatli davranman gerekir.<\/p>\r\n

Bu konudaki delil, Allah Teâlâ'n\u0131n kitab\u0131ndan \u015fu iki âyettir:<\/p>\r\n

Birincisi: Allah Teâlâ'n\u0131n \u015fu emridir:<\/p>\r\n

(( \u064a\u064e\u0627 \u0646\u0650\u0633\u064e\u0627\u0621 \u0627\u0644\u0646\u0651\u064e\u0628\u0650\u064a\u0651\u0650 \u0644\u064e\u0633\u0652\u062a\u064f\u0646\u0651\u064e \u0643\u064e\u0623\u064e\u062d\u064e\u062f\u064d \u0645\u0650\u0646\u064e \u0627\u0644\u0646\u0651\u0650\u0633\u064e\u0627\u0621\u0650 \u0625\u0650\u0646\u0650 \u0627\u062a\u0651\u064e\u0642\u064e\u064a\u0652\u062a\u064f\u0646\u0651\u064e \u0641\u064e\u0644\u0627 \u062a\u064e\u062e\u0652\u0636\u064e\u0639\u0652\u0646\u064e \u0628\u0650\u0627\u0644\u0652\u0642\u064e\u0648\u0652\u0644\u0650 \u0641\u064e\u064a\u064e\u0637\u0652\u0645\u064e\u0639\u064e \u0627\u0644\u0651\u064e\u0630\u0650\u064a \u0641\u0650\u064a \u0642\u064e\u0644\u0652\u0628\u0650\u0647\u0650 \u0645\u064e\u0631\u064e\u0636\u064c \u0648\u064e\u0642\u064f\u0644\u0652\u0646\u064e \u0642\u064e\u0648\u0652\u0644\u0627\u064b \u0645\u0651\u064e\u0639\u0652\u0631\u064f\u0648\u0641\u0627\u064b )) [ \u0633\u0648\u0631\u0629 \u0627\u0644\u0623\u062d\u0632\u0627\u0628 \u0627\u0644\u0622\u064a\u0629: 32 ]<\/p>\r\n

\"Ey peygamber kad\u0131nlar\u0131! Sizler, (fazîlet ve konum itibariyle) kad\u0131nlardan herhangi biri gibi de\u011filsiniz. E\u011fer (Allah'a itaat etmek ve ona kar\u015f\u0131 gelmemek sûretiyle Allah'tan) sak\u0131n\u0131yorsan\u0131z, (yabanc\u0131 erkeklerle) edâl\u0131 konu\u015fmay\u0131n.Yoksa kalbinde bir hastal\u0131k bulunanlar kötü \u015feyler umarlar. Ve hep ma'ruf söz söyleyin.\"(Ahzâb Sûresi: 32)<\/p>\r\n

\u0130kincisi: Allah Teâlâ'n\u0131n \u015fu emridir:<\/p>\r\n

((... \u0648\u064e\u0625\u0650\u0630\u064e\u0627 \u0633\u064e\u0623\u064e\u0644\u0652\u062a\u064f\u0645\u064f\u0648\u0647\u064f\u0646\u0651\u064e \u0645\u064e\u062a\u064e\u0627\u0639\u0627\u064b \u0641\u064e\u0627\u0633\u0652\u0623\u064e\u0644\u064f\u0648\u0647\u064f\u0646\u0651\u064e \u0645\u0650\u0646\u0652 \u0648\u064e\u0631\u064e\u0627\u0621 \u062d\u0650\u062c\u064e\u0627\u0628\u064d \u0630\u064e\u0644\u0650\u0643\u064f\u0645\u0652 \u0623\u064e\u0637\u0652\u0647\u064e\u0631\u064f \u0644\u0650\u0642\u064f\u0644\u064f\u0648\u0628\u0650\u0643\u064f\u0645\u0652 \u0648\u064e\u0642\u064f\u0644\u064f\u0648\u0628\u0650\u0647\u0650\u0646\u0651\u064e...)) [ \u0633\u0648\u0631\u0629 \u0627\u0644\u0623\u062d\u0632\u0627\u0628 \u0627\u0644\u0622\u064a\u0629: 53 ]<\/p>\r\n

\"...Peygamber'in e\u015flerinden bir \u015fey istedi\u011finizde, onu perde arkas\u0131ndan isteyin. Bu, sizin kalpleriniz için de, onlar\u0131n kalpleri için de daha temizdir...\" (Ahzâb Sûresi: 53)<\/p>\r\n

Bundan sonra sana \u015funu hat\u0131rlatmak isterim: Müslüman\u0131n, evlenmek istedi\u011fi bir kad\u0131n\u0131 seçerken ölçüsü; Rasûlullah -sallallahu aleyhi ve sellem-'in \u015fu buyru\u011funda evlenmeyi te\u015fvik etti\u011fi \u015fu ölçü olmas\u0131 gerekir:<\/p>\r\n

(( \u062a\u064f\u0646\u0652\u0643\u064e\u062d\u064f \u0627\u0644\u0652\u0645\u064e\u0631\u0652\u0623\u064e\u0629\u064f \u0644\u0623\u064e\u0631\u0652\u0628\u064e\u0639\u064d: \u0644\u0650\u0645\u064e\u0627\u0644\u0650\u0647\u064e\u0627 \u0648\u064e\u0644\u0650\u062d\u064e\u0633\u064e\u0628\u0650\u0647\u064e\u0627 \u0648\u064e\u0644\u0650\u062c\u064e\u0645\u064e\u0627\u0644\u0650\u0647\u064e\u0627 \u0648\u064e\u0644\u0650\u062f\u0650\u064a\u0646\u0650\u0647\u064e\u0627\u060c \u0641\u064e\u0627\u0638\u0652\u0641\u064e\u0631\u0652 \u0628\u0650\u0630\u064e\u0627\u062a\u0650 \u0627\u0644\u062f\u0651\u0650\u064a\u0646\u0650 \u062a\u064e\u0631\u0650\u0628\u064e\u062a\u0652 \u064a\u064e\u062f\u064e\u0627\u0643\u064e.)) [ \u0631\u0648\u0627\u0647 \u0627\u0644\u0628\u062e\u0627\u0631\u064a \u0648\u0645\u0633\u0644\u0645 ]<\/p>\r\n

\"Kad\u0131n, <\/em>dört \u015feyi <\/em>için <\/em>nikâhlan\u0131r: Mal\u0131 için, soyu (\u015ferefi) için, güzelli\u011fi için ve dîni için. Sen, dindar olan\u0131 tercih et. (E\u011fer buna ayk\u0131r\u0131 davran\u0131rsan\/dîndâr olan\u0131 tercih etmezsen) ellerin topra\u011fa de\u011fsin (fakir olas\u0131n).\" (Buhârî; hadis no: 5090. Müslim; hadis no: 1466)<\/p>\r\n

Onunla ba\u015fba\u015fa kalmak veya onunla d\u0131\u015far\u0131 ç\u0131kmak veyahut da buna benzer seni harama dü\u015fürecek veya yakla\u015ft\u0131racak her \u015feyden sak\u0131nmal\u0131s\u0131n.<\/p>\r\n

Allah'a itaatte sana yard\u0131mc\u0131 olacak bir kad\u0131n\u0131 kolay k\u0131lmas\u0131n\u0131 Allah Teâlâ'dan niyaz ederim.<\/p>\r\n<\/span><\/div>\r\n

Muhammed Salih el-Muneccid<\/div>","status":1,"created_at":"2015-03-17T20:51:59.000000Z","updated_at":"2015-03-17T20:51:59.000000Z","language_id":26,"fatawacate_id":39,"parent_id":10294,"author_id":"","books":[],"articles":[],"videos":[],"audios":[],"author_name":"","category_name":"\u0627\u0644\u062e\u0637\u0628\u0629","category_slug":"","get_date":"2015-03-17"},"translations":[],"fatawa_books":[],"fatawa_articles":[],"fatawa_videos":[],"fatawa_audios":[],"url":"http:\/\/www.islamland.com\/tur\/api\/fatawas\/10297"}